I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
