i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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