I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
