My sheets look like a crime scene.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Randomize
