On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
