the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
