idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
