its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
