sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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