Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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