She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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