just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled if crying burns calories
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
