their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
