dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
