fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude