No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
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Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
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You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.