Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

come over

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(402): hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face. (1-402): come over http://tfl.nu/v8ye

Replies (25) Good night (7624) Bad night (1155)
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(440): View more from Ohio

it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.

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(440): it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time. http://tfl.nu/xax0

Replies (21) Good night (1259) Bad night (7711)
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(708): View more from Illinois

so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.

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(708): so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me. http://tfl.nu/mwnt

Replies (58) Good night (14639) Bad night (1473)
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(269): View more from Michigan

So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow

(1-269): View more from Michigan

Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10

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(269): So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow (1-269): Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10 http://tfl.nu/n472

Replies (63) Good night (15386) Bad night (1133)
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(361): View more from Texas

I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.

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(361): I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina. http://tfl.nu/9b7c

Replies (17) Good night (3477) Bad night (1988)
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(954): View more from Florida

You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.

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(954): You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself. http://tfl.nu/qx75

Replies (6) Good night (1075) Bad night (3255)
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(614): View more from Ohio

Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night

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(614): Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night http://tfl.nu/qw5j

Replies (3) Good night (796) Bad night (813)
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(443): View more from Maryland

I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?

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(443): I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible? http://tfl.nu/lb2v

Replies (19) Good night (854) Bad night (1294)
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(515): View more from Iowa

We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.

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(515): We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all. http://tfl.nu/if2m

Replies (9) Good night (2378) Bad night (605)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.

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(503): Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in. http://tfl.nu/pa8o

Replies (7) Good night (1921) Bad night (724)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"

(864): View more from South Carolina

Olive Garden will never be the same.

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(803): She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH" (864): Olive Garden will never be the same. http://tfl.nu/o2p7

Replies (10) Good night (1964) Bad night (922)
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(310): View more from California

Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation

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(310): Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation http://tfl.nu/nk1k

Replies (10) Good night (558) Bad night (1140)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.

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(413): I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket. http://tfl.nu/1du9

Replies (0) Good night (530) Bad night (377)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.

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(513): Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night. http://tfl.nu/s558

Replies (2) Good night (308) Bad night (481)
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(727): View more from Florida

I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.

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(727): I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this. http://tfl.nu/yk4h

Replies (2) Good night (383) Bad night (332)

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