Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.

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  (864): Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint. http://tfl.nu/at98
  Replies (14) Good night (4241) Bad night (775)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.

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  (727): I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible. http://tfl.nu/n38l
  Replies (30) Good night (719) Bad night (6487)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.

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  (732): Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend. http://tfl.nu/3lzx
  Replies (20) Good night (1027) Bad night (4278)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.

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  (678): I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts. http://tfl.nu/4sqd
  Replies (95) Good night (21433) Bad night (1462)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.

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  (954): It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life. http://tfl.nu/v7co
  Replies (10) Good night (700) Bad night (3630)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now

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  (248): I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now http://tfl.nu/d0ke
  Replies (16) Good night (5217) Bad night (1028)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.

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  (207): He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice. http://tfl.nu/mmqq
  Replies (12) Good night (4767) Bad night (1670)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay

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  (714): I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay http://tfl.nu/rji9
  Replies (4) Good night (2100) Bad night (1217)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.

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  (513): Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well. http://tfl.nu/s9im
  Replies (5) Good night (2840) Bad night (814)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.

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  (530): We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame. http://tfl.nu/it3w
  Replies (8) Good night (1851) Bad night (496)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.

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  (406): I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch. http://tfl.nu/qcd2
  Replies (3) Good night (1713) Bad night (453)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.

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  (267): No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool. http://tfl.nu/pfhs
  Replies (20) Good night (732) Bad night (1982)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.

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  (678): Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques. http://tfl.nu/wk2i
  Replies (8) Good night (1201) Bad night (603)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.

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  (207): We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often. http://tfl.nu/7mqp
  Replies (3) Good night (812) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  Best superhero ever to exist

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  (630): I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman (1-630): Best superhero ever to exist http://tfl.nu/bh1h
  Replies (6) Good night (1073) Bad night (299)

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