dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.