Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
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Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
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I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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