We won't sleep together?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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