belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
