I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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