I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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