The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
well you can't waste a boner
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
