Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
