I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
