I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
