I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
