i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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