the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Randomize
