Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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