you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
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