Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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