tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
