Apparently you make a good broom.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
