She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
