I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
They are going to name an STD after you.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
