We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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