rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
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