Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
