I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
