Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
