I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
