I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
