The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
