fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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