We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
