I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
