I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
