Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
