so that wasnt chicken after all
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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