I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
