You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i will never coherently bang her
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
