We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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