The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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