my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
