My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
