That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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