i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize