FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
