can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
