Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
