I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
he just fucked me for my cheese.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
