So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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