I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
