What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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