what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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