Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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