yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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