ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It's never too late to be topless.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me