Texts From Last Night

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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell

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  (704): When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell http://tfl.nu/rk2d
  Replies (9) Good night (3448) Bad night (788)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Its only 8 and she is already passed out

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2

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  (702): Its only 8 and she is already passed out (1-702): Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2 http://tfl.nu/cu8c
  Replies (73) Good night (1568) Bad night (3895)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  .....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......

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  (847): .....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party...... http://tfl.nu/uwbu
  Replies (7) Good night (1582) Bad night (4328)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.

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  (904): I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale. http://tfl.nu/rt3p
  Replies (12) Good night (4545) Bad night (1377)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.

  (1-304): View more from West Virginia

  That wasn't intended for you, my bad.

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  (304): What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me. (1-304): That wasn't intended for you, my bad. http://tfl.nu/hfz2
  Replies (23) Good night (5780) Bad night (1576)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.

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  (360): He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish. http://tfl.nu/ae8m
  Replies (11) Good night (3237) Bad night (850)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed

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  (208): My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed http://tfl.nu/lwb6
  Replies (11) Good night (2261) Bad night (1500)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!

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  (814): My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween! http://tfl.nu/sc01
  Replies (14) Good night (2374) Bad night (704)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.

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  (330): it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with. http://tfl.nu/kix9
  Replies (9) Good night (1354) Bad night (703)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!

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  (248): In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list! http://tfl.nu/ms7h
  Replies (20) Good night (1384) Bad night (610)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.

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  (423): I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him. http://tfl.nu/x8vu
  Replies (9) Good night (2464) Bad night (675)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.

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  (978): I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again. http://tfl.nu/29ts
  Replies (6) Good night (690) Bad night (372)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible

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  (801): Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible http://tfl.nu/ks54
  Replies (3) Good night (497) Bad night (322)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary

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  (248): Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary http://tfl.nu/0652
  Replies (3) Good night (408) Bad night (970)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive

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  (812): I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive http://tfl.nu/4ohj
  Replies (1) Good night (617) Bad night (120)

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