Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.

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  (407): If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that. http://tfl.nu/f0c3
  Replies (24) Good night (3012) Bad night (723)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die

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  (321): well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die http://tfl.nu/56i7
  Replies (15) Good night (2572) Bad night (566)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory

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  (678): After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory http://tfl.nu/nm21
  Replies (23) Good night (704) Bad night (5152)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...

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  (616): So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes... http://tfl.nu/3so6
  Replies (6) Good night (3528) Bad night (1009)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..

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  (503): I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus.. http://tfl.nu/6jqk
  Replies (12) Good night (1135) Bad night (3677)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.

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  (432): Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know. http://tfl.nu/dusl
  Replies (5) Good night (1334) Bad night (2830)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?

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  (775): He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him? http://tfl.nu/kkqj
  Replies (19) Good night (704) Bad night (1750)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'

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  (701): the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.' http://tfl.nu/nfi4
  Replies (3) Good night (771) Bad night (1454)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War

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  (704): If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War http://tfl.nu/ppmx
  Replies (1) Good night (782) Bad night (576)
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  (631): View more from New York

  She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.

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  (631): She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real. http://tfl.nu/p8fj
  Replies (21) Good night (4816) Bad night (769)
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  (925): View more from California

  Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.

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  (925): Bored at work. googling vodka waffles. http://tfl.nu/6y0b
  Replies (1) Good night (410) Bad night (348)
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  (562): View more from California

  Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?

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  (562): Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream? http://tfl.nu/nras
  Replies (1) Good night (662) Bad night (213)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.

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  (540): Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar. http://tfl.nu/gi8s
  Replies (1) Good night (375) Bad night (221)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.

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  (330): this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more. http://tfl.nu/e0jy
  Replies (2) Good night (498) Bad night (248)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml

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  (203): My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml http://tfl.nu/zovi
  Replies (5) Good night (321) Bad night (667)

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