Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.

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  (631): Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans. http://tfl.nu/f9ad
  Replies (74) Good night (4086) Bad night (1862)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.

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  (512): last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all. http://tfl.nu/2zyx
  Replies (11) Good night (3570) Bad night (803)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on

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  (970): And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on http://tfl.nu/lu1l
  Replies (18) Good night (7588) Bad night (1287)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.

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  (847): I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore. http://tfl.nu/qnk6
  Replies (32) Good night (1010) Bad night (4804)
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  (805): View more from California

  woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."

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  (805): woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream." http://tfl.nu/w9nn
  Replies (11) Good night (4493) Bad night (976)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.

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  (717): he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob. http://tfl.nu/6ugt
  Replies (56) Good night (8877) Bad night (1076)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Toaster

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  (319): On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you? (316): Toaster http://tfl.nu/fbwm
  Replies (48) Good night (25952) Bad night (1565)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester

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  (724): yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester http://tfl.nu/0tku
  Replies (20) Good night (4620) Bad night (2592)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.

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  (928): Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/yr6e
  Replies (18) Good night (1503) Bad night (2833)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...

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  (303): accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones... http://tfl.nu/822e
  Replies (4) Good night (2423) Bad night (502)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.

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  (518): Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors. http://tfl.nu/nr6l
  Replies (2) Good night (1086) Bad night (885)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.

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  (214): I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help. http://tfl.nu/nnry
  Replies (11) Good night (1092) Bad night (351)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.

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  (541): 25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that. http://tfl.nu/kj3r
  Replies (12) Good night (567) Bad night (809)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.

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  (206): I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart. http://tfl.nu/h3lf
  Replies (4) Good night (962) Bad night (342)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over

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  (717): if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over http://tfl.nu/5a4u
  Replies (3) Good night (1265) Bad night (299)

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