please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating