Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.