I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night