your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I don't deserve a penis
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
