Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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