my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Randomize
